One would say „there are no ugly children“but this is in fact half the truth. The concept of “beautiful” can be perceived subjectively: beauty is in the eye of the beholder who is undergoing the emotional perception of beauty. Beauty can be described objectively as well: there can be a symmetric face, correct face and figure lines and proportions, bright colorful eyes, straight nose etc.
A young person’s body starts to get mature in adolescence years, as well as his/her “normal” height. The latter one is an empirical beauty description, based on the observation. This is how beautiful or ugly people get selected for the cinema, theater and any other show biz sphere.
The emotional sense of “beautiful” is very predominant talking about little children. They are natural, active, open, honest, which brings joy to adults who observe the kids. However, there are other “judges”: they become frequent right after the kindergarten when the child starts taking school or play in the courtyard. Very frequently the child hears out different opinions influenced by affection, competition, jealousy. These little “estimators” might get very aggressive and harsh saying mean things:
Fat ass!
You look like a moron!
Horse feet!!
Children who have more weight are the most frequent objects of jeers and are called laggards and elephants.
Children who get taunted soon realize there exist two sides; parents who do not tell the entire truth and the kids who tell the harsh truth, because they are not interested in consoling the child who, by the way, sees himself/herself in the mirror…
And the question that faces parents is: how to deal with their child’s appearance? No, not the one which is “always nice”, but the one which is seen by the child and other children. The child might ask: am I beautiful? Is my body nice? Why am I fat?
Most likely parents would:
1. Lie. If a child has imperfections parents often stress that appearance is not the most important thing or simply say he/she is beautiful. This is pretty much a naïve move because shortly the child might notice the difference between parents’ words and the reflections in the mirror.
2. Lie and underestimate their child’s appearance if he/she is beautiful simply not saying this so that he/she would not become too cocky.
3. Dodge themselves out of the straight answer and ask pretending to be a psychologist: what do you think yourself? Or simply “ask the father”, “all children are different”, “all children are beautiful”. This time a child might even get angry because children do not like when parents do not answer directly to their questions.
4. Tell the truth hoping the child would understand and trust you later on. However, we are talking about children who are sensitive creatures; therefore one has to be prepared for his/her emotional reactions: children might cry, hate you for giving birth to an ugly kid and so on.
So, is there are any right way to answer? Psychologists advise to talk with the child about the beauty itself and carefully help their child to understand his beauty and solve appearance problems.
If a child has overweight, parents should prepare a special diet or change eating habit. You can get a list from family doctor or you can go online to get information on the basic four food groups. Urge a child to take sports. Exercising will increase your child health. A regular exercise program is good for all ages and helps relieve stress at the early ages as well. A person who learns and enjoys exercising on a daily basis will keep during it, as they grow older as well.
So, help your child to lose weight and keep it off, be healthy and happy. And then she/he will stop asking “Why I am fat?”
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